Never -ending evaluation of the soul from cradle to grave...

NOT A POEM or NOT A GRIEVANCE . JUST A COLD and a BAD TEMPERATURE.

Who can know how many times they have had earthquakes in their heartlandsand
how many times they have builded new cities in that country that is untouchable , invisible with an unpredictible population tomorrow.
Who can know how many times they have been understood, or misundertood.
Who can know who is who ?
Who can know who?
Who ?

HAPPY FLORIST' DAY!

I am late posting this blog because of computer and connection problems.I call the Valentine’s day as Florists' day . Yesterday on TV , they announced about Valentine’s as usual and they told the meanings of the flowers. The most interesting one was gray colured flower. I had never heard of it . Is there such a flower?For a happily married couple or others who are going to get married , it can be another occasion to make them remember their love to each other. For shy lovers it can be a good opportunity as a first step.For others who is in impossible love with someone , there is no difference.But the funniest side of this day must be getting flowers from your husband only this day . Only one day in a year ! Sure most women get disappointed by this and they ask ‘’ What happened to the other days but today ?’’.. If so, the best way is not complaining . It is better than nothing.

TIME

Stopping the time is impossible but if you stop the time of yours for a few seconds and stand watching it flowing around you ,you can get shocked with what you see and realize. Each time you try it you will feel the same .Sure everybody realizes time is flowing fast. It always flows fast but nowadays it is faster and faster. Technology is improving faster . And young people of this age are becoming more and more meatured when I compare to my generation.Everything is going faster and there is a terrible harmony among them. When you feel tired of catching it, you can go out of it for some seconds in a way.

THE STEPS

I want to write a poem of one of my favourite poets today . This poem has a nice memory from my university years. It was the second term of the second year . Everybody suggested me not to get American literature in the second term for the first time . Because of time limit I wasnt allowed to take it in the first term . So I was taking a risk in older students opinion. The more I listened to their negative ideas the more I was attracted by my idea. I was listening to the lessons carefully at the beginning . I was afraid of making their thoughts come true.That day we were studying Herman Melville and symbolism and and the teacher asked the class who was the famous symbolist Turkish writer or poet. I waited for a while When noone answered correctly I said Ahmet Hasim . Then he asked me if I could give an hour of seminar the following week. It was a great chance for me . I was going to tell about my favourite poet and his poems but It was stressfull of course. All age and class groups were going to listen to me. I enjoyed reading three books I borrowed from Turkish literature students. The big day came The teacher asked to tell the subject at his desk and he sat on a chair by the window. His desk was on a high platform I was holding the desk tightly to get over my excitement for a few minutes but getting prepared well and knowing the subject better than everybody there helped me to forget in a few seconds . Then the teacher asked me to tell about one more poem he chose . The mission was completed successfully. By the way I have never ever failed from American literature class. it was one of my best classes.
THE STEPS
Step by step you will walk up in these stairs,
With a heap of sun-coloured leaves around your skirt,
And for a while you 'll stare into the sky, weeping and hurt.

The water's turned pallid, your face is growing paler too
Behold the scarlet heavens, evening's creeping on you ...

Bent to earth, constantly sheds tears of blood the rose;
Blood-red nightingales have perched on branches like flares,
Is the water on fire; why does marble resemble bronze?

It is a secret tongue which fills the soul anew
Behold the scarlet heavens, evening's creeping upon you...
AHMET HASIM

DEDE KORKUT TALES

Dede Korkut legends and stories tell about the the life of Muslim Oghuz Turks who lived in the north-east of Anatolia. Yet you can see some shamanist signs in the stories . Before Islam Turks were following shamanism and thats why they accepted islam soon when they learnt about it.Some historians think the stories were first emerged before islamic time among Turks. They were first written during the last times of Akkoyunlu State. The only one and full menuscript including 12 stories, is in Library of Dresten in Germany and the other original one including 6 stories is in Vatikan. Until Dede Korkut was transcribed on paper, the events survived in the oral tradition, at least from the ninth and tenth centuries.Here is one of themThe Story of Delu DumrulSon of Duha KojaMy khan, among the Oghuz people there was a man by the name of DeluDumrul, the son of Duha Koja. He had a bridge built across a dryriver bed. He collected thirty-three akchas from anyone who passedover it, and those who refused to pass over it he beat and chargedforty akchas anyway. He did this to challenge anyone who thought hewas braver than Delu Dumrul to fight, with the purpose of makinghis own bravery, heroism, and gallantry known even in places as fardistant as Anatolia and Syria.One day it happened that a troop of nomads camped along his bridge.A fine, handsome youth in the nomad troop fell sick and died at thecommand of Allah. Some cried, saying, "Son," some cried, saying,"Brother," and there was great mourning for him.Delu Dumrul, enhancing to come along, asked: "Why are you crying,cuckolds? What is this noise by my bridge? Why are you mourning?"They said: "My khan, we lost a fine young man. That is why we arecrying."Delu Dumrul asked, "Who killed your bey?"They said: "Oh, bey, it was by the order of Almighty Allah. Thered-winged Azrail took his life.""What sort of fellow is this Azrail who takes people's lives? Forthe sake of your unity and existence, O Almighty Allah, let me seeAzrail. Let me fight and scuffle with him to save the life of sucha fine youth, so that he never takes a life again," said DeluDumrul. He then turned away and went home.Now, Almighty Allah was not pleased with Dumrul's words. He said:"Look at that madman. He does not understand my oneness. He doesnot express his gratitude to me and dares to behave arrogantly inmy mighty presence." He ordered Azrail: "Go and appear before theeyes of that madman. Make his face pale and strangle the life outof him."While Delu Dumrul was sitting and drinking with his fortycompanions, Azrail suddenly arrived. Neither the chamberlains northe wardens had seen Azrail pass. Delu Dumrul's eyes were blinded,his hands paralyzed. The entire world was darkened to his eyes. Hebegan to speak. Let us see what he said, my khan.'What a mighty, big old man you are!The wardens did not see you come;The chamberlains did not hear.My eyes, which could see, now cannot;My hands, which could grip, now cannot.My soul trembled and was terrified;My golden cup fell from my hand.My mouth is cold as ice;My bones are turned to dust.Ho! white-bearded old man,Cold-eyed old man!What mighty old man are you?Go away, or I may hurt you."Azrail was angry at these remarks. He said:"Oh, madman,Do you dislike the cold expression in my eyes?I have taken the lives of many lovely eyed girls and brides.Why is it you dislike my white beard?I have taken the lives of both white-bearded and black-bearded men.That is why my own beard is white."He then continued in this way: "Oh, madman! You were boasting andsaying that you would kill the red-winged Azrail if you caught him,to save the life of the fine young lad. Oh, fool, now I have cometo take your life. Will you give it, or will you fight with me?"Delu Dumrul asked, "Are you the red-winged Azrail?""Yes, I am," replied Azrail."Are you the one who takes the lives of these fine boys?" askedDumrul."That is so," said Azrail.Delu Dumrul said, "Ho, wardens, shut the doors." He then turned toAzrail and said: "O Azrail, I was expecting to catch you in a wideopen place, but I caught you in a narrow one, did I not? Let mekill you and save the life of that fine young man." He drew his bigblack sword, held it in his hand, and tried to strike Azrail withit, but Azrail became a pigeon and flew out of the window. DeluDumrul, a monster of a man, clapped his hands and burst out inlaughter. He said: "My friends, I frightened Azrail so much that heran out, not through the wide open door, but through the chimney.To save himself from my hand, he just became a pigeon and flewaway. I shall have him caught by my falcon."He mounted his horse, took his falcon on his wrist, and startedpursuing Azrail. He killed a few pigeons. On the way home, however,Azrail appeared to the eyes of his horse. The horse was frightenedand threw Delu Dumrul off its back to the ground. His poor headgrew dizzy, and he became powerless. Azrail came and pressed downupon his white chest. He had been murmuring a short while ago, butnow he gasped out through the rattle in his throat:"O Azrail, have mercy!There is no doubt about the unity of Allah.I was uninformed about you.I did not know you secretly took lives.We have mountains with large peaks;We have vineyards on those mountains;In those vineyards there are vines with bunches of blackgrapes;And, when pressed, those grapes make wine, red wine.A man who drinks that wine grows drunk.Thus I was drunk, and so I did not hear.I did not know what I had said.I have not tired of the role of bey.I wish to live out more years of my youth.O Azrail, please spare this life of mine."Azrail said: "You mad rascal, why do you beg mercy from me? Begmercy from Almighty Allah. What is in my hands? I am but aservant."Delu Dumrul said, "Is it, then, Almighty Allah who gives and takesour lives?""Of course," said Azrail.Delu Dumrul then turned to Azrail and said: "You are a cursedfellow. Do not interfere with my business. Let me talk withAlmighty Allah myself." Delu Dumrul spoke to Allah. Let us listen,my khan, to what he said:"You are higher than the highest.No one knows how high you are,Allah the Magnificent.Fools search for you up in the sky and on earth;You are found in the hearts of the faithful,Eternal and Almighty Allah.Immortal, merciful Allah,If you wish to take my life away,Then take it by yourself.Let not Azrail do it."Almighty Allah was pleased with the way Delu Dumrul ad dressed himthis time. He shouted to Azrail that, because the mad rascalbelieved in His oneness, he was giving him his blessing and thathis life might be spared if he could find another willing to serveas a substitute for him.Azrail said to Delu Dumrul, "Oh, Delu Dumrul, it is the command ofAlmighty Allah that you should provide the life of some- one elsefor your own, which will then be spared."Delu Dumrul said: "How can I find someone else's life? I have noone in the world but an old mother and an old father. Let us go andsee if one of them will give his life for me. If so, you can takeit, and leave me mine." Delu Dumrul rode to his father's house,kissed his father's hand, and spoke to him. Let us see, my khan,what he said to his father."My white-bearded father, beloved and respected,Do you know what has happened to me?I spoke in blasphemy,And my words made Allah the Almighty angry.He commanded the red-winged Azrail aboveTo fly from the sky.He pressed on my white chest, sitting on me.He made my throat rattle, almost took my sweet life.Father, I beg you to give me your life.Will you give me it, Father?Or would you prefer to weep after me, saying,'My son, Delu Dumrul!'"His father answered:"Son, Son, oh, my son!A part of my life, oh, Son.Lionlike son, for whom I once had slaughtered nine camels,Backbone of my house with its chimneys of gold,A flower to my gooselike daughters and brides.If need be, command the black mountain out yonderTo come here and serve as Azrail's pasture.If need be, then let my cool springs be his fountain.If need be, then give him my stables of beautiful horses toride.If need be, my caravan camel can carry his goods.If need be, the white sheep that stand in my foldCan be cooked in the kitchen for food at his feast.If need be, my silver and gold money will be for him.But the world is too sweet, and living too dearTo spare my own life. So know this.There remains yet your mother, more dear and belovedthan I.Son, go to your mother."Refused by his father, Delu Dumrul next rode to his mother and saidto her:"Do you know what has happened to me, my mother?The red-winged Azrail flew down from the skyAnd pressed my white chest as he sat upon me.He made my throat rattle, almost took away life.My father denied me the life that I asked from him, Mother.I ask you for yours, now, my mother.Will you give me your life?Or would you prefer to weep after me, saying,'My son, Delu Dumrul'While scratching your white face with sharp fingernailsAnd tearing your black spearlike hair?"Let us hear, my khan, what his mother said."Son, Son, oh, my son!Son, whom I carried nine months in my narrow womb,Whom I bore in the tenth monthAnd swaddled in the cradle with care,Whom I fed my abundant white milk.Son, I wish you had rather been held in a white-toweredcastle,Been held there by infidel men with religion so foul,So that then I might have saved you, using the power ofwealth.But instead, you are sunk to a frightful positionWhere I cannot reach you.The world is too sweet, and the human soul too dearTo spare my own life. So know this."His mother also refused to give her life for him. Azrail there-fore came to take Delu Dumrul's life. Delu Dumrul said:"O Azrail, be not hasty.There is no doubt about the oneness of Allah.tAzrail replied: "Oh, you madman, why do you keep begging for mercy?You went to your white-bearded father, but he refused to give youhis life. You then went to your white-haired mother, and she alsorefused to give you her life. Who do you think will give you hislife?""I have yet a loved one. Let me go and see her," said Delu Dumrul."%o is your loved one, mad fellow?" asked Azrail.'I have a lawful wife, the daughter of a man from another tribe,and I have two children by her. Take my life after I visit them. Ihave a few things to say to them." He rode then to his wife andsaid to her,"Do you know what has happened to me?The red-winged Azrail flew down from the skyAnd pressed my white chest as he sat upon me.He almost took away my sweet life.My father denied me the life that I asked from him.I went to my mother, but she refused, too.They said that the world was too sweet and life was too dear.Let my high black mountains now be your pasture.Let my cooling springs be your fountain.Let my stables of beautiful horses be yours now to ride.Let my beautiful gold-chimneyed house give you shelter.Let my caravan camels carry your goods.Let white sheep in my fold be served at your feast.Go, marry another,Whomever your heart loves.Let not our two sons remain orphans."His wife then spoke. Let us hear, my khan, what she said."What is it you say,My strong ram, my young shah.Whom I loved at first sight,And gave all of my heart?Whom I gave my sweet lips to be kissed;Whom I slept with upon the same pillow, and loved.What shall I do with the black mountains yonder When you areno longer here?Should I take my flock there, let my grave be there, too?Should I sip your cool springs, let my blood run like water.Should I spend your gold coins, let them be for my shroud.Should I ride on your stables of beautiful horses, let them bemy hearse.Should I love, after you, any other young manAnd marry him, lie with him;Let him turn serpent and then let him bite me.What is there in lifeThat your miserable parentsCould spare not their own lives for yours?Let the heavens, the eight-storied heavens, be witness;Let the earth and the sky be my witness, as well;Let Almighty Allah be witness for me:Let my life be a sacrifice made for the sake of your own."Saying this, she consented to die, and Azrail came to take the lady's life.But that monster of a man, Delu Dumrul, could not spare hiscompanion. He pleaded with Almighty Allah. Let us hear how hepleaded."Thou art higher than the highest;No one knows how high you are,Allah the Magnificent!Fools search for you in the sky and on earth,But you live in the heart of the faithful.Eternal and merciful Allah,Let me build needed homes for the poorAlong the main roads of the land.Let me feed hungry men for your sake when I see them.If you take any life, take the lives of us both.If you spare any life, spare the lives of us both,Merciful Almighty Allah."Almighty Allah was pleased with Delu Dumrul's words. He gave hisorders to Azrail: "Take the lives of Delu Dumrul's father andmother. I have granted a life of 140 years to this lawfully marriedcouple." Azrail proceeded to take the lives of the father andmother right away, but Delu Dumrul lived with his wife for 140years more.Dede Korkut came and told tales and sang legends. He said: "Let this legend be Delu Dumrul's. Let heroic minstrels after me singit, and let generous men with clean foreheads listen to it."Let me pray, my khan: May your rugged black mountains never falldown. May your large shade tree never be felled. May your clearrunning streams never dry up. May Almighty Allah never let you beat the mercy of the base. We have spoken five words of prayer inbehalf of your white forehead. May they be accepted. May He clearaway your sins and forgive them for the sake of Mohammed with the exalted name.Dede = grandfather , formerly dervish or sheikhDeli ( delu in old Turkish)= crazy